I Think, I See

Consciousness Exploration Journal

11/1/2012

It started as a typical dream. I was sitting around and talking with some people. The topic was about how amazing “all-that-is,” the system, etc is. I was trying to express how powerful the feeling was to even think of it. I felt an immense surge of joyful sadness and saddening joy building inside of me as I tried to speak. It was completely overwhelming. I remember having to lay down. 

At some point later, I woke up in my bed and had the intuitive sense that I could encourage sleep paralysis. As I did, I began to hear the strange voice again. It was, as usual, broken up and garbled. This time, it was a very deep and powerful voice - a stereotypical demon sound. I let go of the fear that started to rise and just remembered my intent to only interact with loving beings who intended to help and guide me. The voice came through a bit better and I understood it to say something like, “it is very good to be with you again.” I thought/said back that it was also good to be with them. My excitement at what was happening started to make the state fade. I was able to get the state back, and could hear a seemingly different garbled voice. With this voice, I could hear laughter in the background. I had the thought that the laugh sounded like my own. I kept trying, but was unable to distinguish anything of value. I faded in and out of the state several times. When I was fully in the state again, I decided to try and “leave my body”. Intending not to try so hard, I gently rose up to an upright position. I stayed very calm and casual. I knew that trying to “see” had failed in the past many times - so I went with pure thought instead. Ignoring the idea of vision, I just focused on wanting to be in my bathroom facing the shower doors. Slowly -- I found myself standing at the doors. I rattled them with my hands. Things were a bit fuzzy, but the approach had worked. Apparently it has nothing to do with seeing, but much more to do with thought and intent. It seems that to create a clear and crisp visual experience, it is better to think less about trying to see more clearly and more about trying to think more clearly.