Consciousness Exploration Journal
6/24/2012
I became lucid in a dream. I was in a bustling hallway of a school. I began trying to ask if there was anybody around that could provide some guidance. Several of the people faded in and out as I tried to speak to them. Eventually, a woman led me into a room and to a round table. 7 - 8 people were already sitting around it. I said out loud to the table, “I am looking for some help with my spiritual growth.” I began to get the impression that nobody at the table was really all that interested. It was a group meeting for some other purpose. One girl across from me began to carry on about something. I could not make out the details, but I got the impression that she was becoming aggressive toward me. Soon she was leaning closer and yelling in my face. I had the idea that she was like a bomb that was about to explode. I decided that it was a little too threatening. I puffed up with a deep rumbling voice and said, “be gone!” She instantly vanished from the table. I started to realize that I wasn’t going to get much direct guidance from the group. The person to the left of me suddenly took on the appearance of a small girl. She looked at me and said, “I’m scared.” Hearing her say that made me realize that I was being pretty selfish - always zipping around and asking everybody for guidance and help. I had never stopped to think that I could possibly be helpful to somebody. I focused my attention on helping the girl. The scene shifted. The girl and I were sitting in a car behind some building. It was night. She was sitting in the passenger seat and still a bit unsettled. I was doing my best to put her at ease and assure her that I would keep her safe. I got out of the driver seat to get some snacks out of the back for her. As I got back in, I caught myself feeling a bit nervous because it was so dark outside. I realized that it didn’t make much sense to lock the doors, but I did anyway. As I continued to try and keep her at ease, I felt myself shifting back to my sleeping body.
I tried to muster up the energy to turn on my light and write down the experience, but began slipping into a vibrational state. I braced for sleep paralysis. The sensations began to build. As the intensity grew, I heard my wife’s voice. With mild confusion and slight concern, she said, “what is going on?” I was doubtful that she actually said anything, but brought myself out of the state to check. She was sound asleep next to me, so I encouraged the state to return. I began to gently float upward. I felt as though I was floating slightly above my body and swaying in the breeze. I felt a bit stuck - unable to get any further. I tried several things to keep the process going, but nothing seemed to be working. I was just stuck. I caught myself actually whimpering as the state progressed. I realized how silly I was being. I decided that whatever was going to happen - no matter how scary or bad - was fine. I would accept it. At that, I transitioned to standing in my bedroom. I jumped up with excitement and flew through the ceiling. I got slightly hung up as I tried to pass through the roof. knowing that I was not actually stuck in the roof and that the room itself was likely a projection of my expectations, I let go of it all. I found myself in a black void. Not wasting any time, I set my intent to create and appear within my grassy field (one that I have used in various visualization techniques). Slowly, the field appeared below me and I floated down into it. It was night time and the field was not exactly right, but it seemed to be a good first try. I did my best to make it daytime and for the scene to look more accurate. It helped only slightly, so I eventually gave up my efforts. Still feeling fairly excited to have had a successful transition, I began running at full speed in a large circle around the field. After several laps, I remembered that I did not want to waste the experience. I circled a few more times and then gathered my focus. I expressed my intent to receive some form of guidance. The scene slightly shifted and I noticed another being entering the field. It was difficult to make out fully. My awareness shifted off to the side of the field near a dirt driveway and several small barns. A shadowy, animal-like figure passed by. Then a few more. And then more. 40 or more of these animal beings must have ran by. As more passed, I began to see them as very large black dogs or wolves. I was not overly frightened, though they did have a intimidating and beastly appearance. I was not sure what to make of it all and could not understand the purpose of the event (if any). I did not have the gumption left to tackle whatever this experience had in store for me, so I decided to call it quits and wake up.
